A: When it's a rattlesnake.
Yes, that's my back patio. Yikes! I was sitting outside reading and letting the dogs run around and wrestle with each other when I heard a sound. My first thought was that it was the sprinkler system starting up with that sputtering sound it makes. I was all annoyed because I was going to have to move or get wet and I don't want the sprinklers going off at 5:15 and my book is really good. Then I looked around and saw what was making the sound. Pretty damn close to my chair and book and R.W. Knudsen grape spritzer.
I grabbed Brooks and called Kenai in my "dammit, I'm serious" voice and we went inside. I called Brad at work and told him my little story, using his favorite expletive several times, over and over really. Then I calmed down enough to sneak back outside and take these photos.
I'm having dinner with some friends in town, and will check to see if the snake is still there in the morning. Maybe when the sprinklers start up at 8:30 they'll scare it away.